Hale Handbook

Kids, Teens and Weight: A Guide for Parents

Don't put your child on a diet. Here's what helps instead, what to say and what not to say, and when to get a pediatrician involved.

3 min readUpdated November 2026Not reviewed by a doctor

The short version

  • Kids and teens are still growing, so adult diets and calculators don't apply.
  • Don't put your child on a diet, or comment on their weight. Change the household instead.
  • Weight talk and dieting are linked to more disordered eating, and more weight gain over time.
  • A pediatrician can assess your child properly and discuss treatment options, including newer ones for teens.

How it's different from adults

Weight in kids and teens is assessed differently, using BMI percentiles for age and sex on a growth chart. A growing child may just need to grow into their weight, and normal puberty changes bodies a lot. The adult tools on this site, including our calculators, don't apply. A pediatrician can interpret your child's growth over time.

What to avoid

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) points to evidence on these:

  • Don't put your child on a diet. Dieting in teens is linked to both greater weight gain and more disordered eating later on. Supervised obesity treatment is different: the AAP says that when it's done correctly, it doesn't appear to lead to eating disorders.
  • Don't talk about weight. That includes your child's, your own, or anyone else's. Focus on health and habits.
  • Don't tease. Teasing about weight, even from family members in a joking tone, does real harm, and it's linked with binge eating and lower self-esteem.
  • Don't use food as a reward or punishment, or require a clean plate.

What helps

Make it about the whole family

Don't single out a child. Everyone benefits from healthier habits, whatever their size.

  • Eat together when you can. Regular family meals are linked with better diets and fewer eating problems.
  • Keep healthy options available. Have fruit, vegetables and water around, and sugary drinks and snacks less often.
  • Serve the same meal to everyone. Use the plate method as a loose guide, and let kids decide how much they eat.
  • Replace sugary drinks with water or milk. This is often the single best change.
  • Limit screens, especially in bedrooms and during meals.
  • Protect sleep. Kids and teens need more of it than adults do.
  • Get moving together. Kids from age 6 and up should aim for about an hour of activity a day. Bike rides, walks, dance, sports, or anything fun.

What to say

Instead ofTry
"You shouldn't eat that, it'll make you fat.""Let's have some fruit with that."
"You need to lose weight.""Let's take a family walk after dinner."
"Those pants look tight."(Just buy the next size without comment.)
"I'm so fat, I need to diet.""I'm cooking this because it makes me feel good."

If your child brings up their weight, listen. "It sounds like that's been on your mind. How are you feeling about it? Do you want us to talk with the doctor?"

When to see a pediatrician

Bring it up if your child's growth pattern has changed, you're worried about their weight or eating, or they have symptoms such as snoring, joint pain or dark velvety patches on the neck.

For children with obesity, the AAP's 2023 guideline recommends early treatment, rather than waiting to see if they outgrow it. Treatment may include intensive family-based behavior programs. For teens with obesity, it notes that some can be considered for medication from age 12, and for surgery from 13 with severe obesity, under specialist care.

Watch for warning signs

Restrictive eating or an eating disorder can start at any weight, and can look like "being healthy." Look for:

  • Skipping meals, or avoiding eating with the family
  • Rapid weight loss
  • Cutting out whole food groups
  • Excessive exercise
  • Going to the bathroom right after meals
  • Preoccupation with calories or their appearance
  • Missed periods
  • Withdrawal or mood changes

If you see these signs, please contact a pediatrician soon. Here's more information and support.

Sources

  1. Hampl et al., Pediatrics (2023): AAP clinical practice guideline for children and adolescents with obesity
  2. Golden et al., Pediatrics (2016): Preventing obesity and eating disorders in adolescents
  3. CDC: Child and Teen BMI
  4. HealthyChildren.org (AAP): Obesity

This guide is general information, not medical advice. Please check with a clinician before making big changes, especially if you have a health condition, take medication, or are pregnant. Read the full disclaimer.

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